3.5 miles (warm-up, stretch, to park, 1 mile around park trail, back home)
8-8:30 a.m.
32 minutes
Slower, but steady pace
Bird Park
High 80's (guess; it was pretty warm, but I think I didn't drink enough water, so I was kind of dehydrated; I wasn't even sweating as much as I thought I would be)
Cooper was up at 5 a.m. and I think I fell back asleep for a little bit before he was fussing for Chris. So I fed him again and got him down, then Chris starting making breakfast...we had Cooper's pictures at 10 a.m. so I was talking myself out of going for a minute, then I was like, there is no reason not to go! So I did! And it felt so good to lace up my shoes and go. I was hoping closer to 4 miles, but it probably was more around 3.5 miles. I wasn't exhausted, but just not moving very fast today. I immediately noticed my change of focus when I started the 3 laps around the park trail that equal a mile...I start thinking when will I be done with this mile...as soon as I got back on the rode home and didn't have a "circle" to run that equaled a certain distance, I ran differently. Good to know this is my tendency. I prefer to be on the road if I can.
I thought today about my running in junior high and high school. I was never amazing, but then again I never put that much into it, so I wonder if I could have done/been more than I was. I also was kind of kicking myself for never doing cross-country; I think part of me was lazy, the other not wanting to fit in, be part of that group. I love how strange we are in high school; looking back it's funny to think why was I so dumb about stuff?! :)
I like my new shoes--Adidas Allegra. They are much comfier than my last pair of Saucony, for which I am grateful. I am realizing that I should have signed up for the 4th of July race sooner, just to have something set. I still think I worked to be semi-ready for it, but I think in the back of my mind I was still coming up with excuses of why it wouldn't work. I see that it is better to sign up and have that set, so my attitude and behaviors will fall in line with that, instead of the other way around, coming up with excuses that determine my choices of if I run, how much, etc.
It was a great feeling to start my run this morning and think--I am a runner! To feel cool :) putting my two feet in front of each other and going on a Saturday morning for a run, like a "runner" would.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
it feels so good!
3 miles (maybe a little bit less, I ran random side roads)
6:40-7:15 a.m.
35 minutes (5 min. stretch, 30 min. run)
Side/residential streets east of our house
Jogging stroller with boys
78+ degrees
I asked Chris if he wanted to go this morning, but he said no. Both boys were up and Cooper was fed so we headed out. It'd been awhile since I had taken the boys, since it's gotten so hot. It felt so nice outside when we left! It was only 78! Beautiful. I was glad to be out on the road and for it to be morning! Two combinations that I am learning to love. We ran by a few cute houses, which was fun, since I am not a huge fan of "desert" looking houses. Ian said we were Lightning McQueen, which was fun. I am seriously loving getting back, it still being 7:30 a.m., showering, doing breakfast and still having the whole day ahead of me! I feel accomplished so early in the morning, which is a good feeling for me. I often feel like I drag the day out and have hardly gotten anything done (a shower if I'm lucky) by lunchtime, so this has been a refreshing change.
6:40-7:15 a.m.
35 minutes (5 min. stretch, 30 min. run)
Side/residential streets east of our house
Jogging stroller with boys
78+ degrees
I asked Chris if he wanted to go this morning, but he said no. Both boys were up and Cooper was fed so we headed out. It'd been awhile since I had taken the boys, since it's gotten so hot. It felt so nice outside when we left! It was only 78! Beautiful. I was glad to be out on the road and for it to be morning! Two combinations that I am learning to love. We ran by a few cute houses, which was fun, since I am not a huge fan of "desert" looking houses. Ian said we were Lightning McQueen, which was fun. I am seriously loving getting back, it still being 7:30 a.m., showering, doing breakfast and still having the whole day ahead of me! I feel accomplished so early in the morning, which is a good feeling for me. I often feel like I drag the day out and have hardly gotten anything done (a shower if I'm lucky) by lunchtime, so this has been a refreshing change.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
we're official!
I just signed Chris and I up for the 4th of July 5K here in Las Vegas. I'm really excited. I'm proud of Chris for wanting to do it with me. He is actually gone right now, running in the gym. We will be pushing the boys in the stroller next Friday, so we'll see how it all turns out. But mostly I am just super excited to get out there and do it. I hope this will be the start of good habits and traditions that we can carry on for the rest of our lives with our family. I really am almost giddy thinking about the race day, the gun going off, the T-shirt at the end. I hope it will be okay for the boys. Maybe this will be a new 4th of July tradition to add to our others. Which makes me think--I need to ask Chris about plans for fireworks; I know his mom sent a few, but I know that is such a big deal for Chris, I want to make sure that day isn't a total letdown and homesick time for him without the family firework show...
I also wore my new Adidas running shoes today and I like them. They are nice and padded. I hadn't realized until recently how old my Saucony's were getting. I didn't like them anyways, so I am glad to try something new.
I also wore my new Adidas running shoes today and I like them. They are nice and padded. I hadn't realized until recently how old my Saucony's were getting. I didn't like them anyways, so I am glad to try something new.
morning person?!
3 miles
6:40-7:10 a.m.
Complex track (9 laps)
80's
Steady pace
For any reader who is sick of TMI, oh well. This blog is really mostly for me to track stuff, see patterns, spout off, etc. I started my period last night, but haven't been feeling too bad physically. I got up this morning at 3:30 a.m. after waking up from a bad dream, but was able to fall back asleep. When Ian came in and got me at 6 a.m. I was really asleep, then he was immediately whining about watching a movie and going to the bathroom, etc...not how I was wanting to start our/my morning! By this time I think our noise had woken Cooper up, so I fed him, went in and asked Chris if he wanted to join me and go out with the boys too (so at least he couldn't be mad I didn't ask!) then told him to bring Cooper in our room when he was ready to shower. Ian again asked where I was going. It felt really nice outside and I get bogged down being in the gym, and since this is only my 2nd morning being out, I realized, it's not hot and it's not dark, so why don't I stay outside! So I decided to stay close and do some laps around the complex. I realized this isn't as boring as the treadmill, but that the whole "track" atmosphere still isn't that exciting, not much change in scenario, plus, just like on the treadmill, I focus way to much on how far I've gone and how many more laps I am going to do...I'd really like to do more of running out a certain amount of time and then turning around or mapping out 3-4 mile runs and heading out knowing where I need to go out to get the rest of the mileage on the way home. Not complaining. Glad I am out, but realizing these are some changes I'll probably need to make to not go crazy doing the same monotonous runs every day! :)
Oh, and I think I am a converted morning person!! Never thought I would be saying those words! When people have asked me what time of day I liked--I'd say none. I didn't like morning, in the past I have been so ornery, biting Dad and Laura's heads off during high school...I get exhausted at night, don't function well, usually don't get a ton accomplished, at least not on a consistent basis, especially when pregnant. So then I'd say, if anything, I was a middle-of-the-day-person. LOL. So I guess I have something else to thank my children for teaching me--because almost as habit, my body wakes up around 5:30 or 6 a.m., even if the boys aren't up yet. I can usually fall back asleep until they are awake, but I am realizing how much more I can get done in a day and how good it feels to already have accomplished so much when I get up and run and then have the whole day ahead of me. This morning, my 8 a.m. I had already run, made banana pancakes, and fed Cooper twice. I decided not to shower until after Cooper's nap because I decided to take the boys to the pool for the first time by myself. We had a blast and it's been a great day! I know lots of people talk about the benefits of running, more than just physical, and not that I'm expecting to change my life or me immediately, but I like the change in attitude I think it's started to have. I feel like I am slowing down and making time for this and paying attention in ways I had not been before. By making time for myself and setting some priorities I am recognizing other ways I need to do that both for myself, for the boys, for Chris and I and our family, in general. I hope this can stick! I also started a new book that is giving me some new insights (No Need for Speed).
I had felt pretty bummed that I hadn't made it out Monday and Tuesday but 2 days since then, especially two mornings in a row--as really lifted my spirits and enthusiasm. I am hoping for tomorrow and Saturday, too! Just keep getting up and going!! :)
I have also made another recent discovery--it takes me almost 2 miles to really start feeling good and warmed up. I always thought it was crazy that long distance runners almost ran more in their warm-up than the length of their race, but it's starting to make more sense! I guess the more ya run, the further your body is ready to keep going! (I keep saying that phrase, maybe I'm on to something with it...who knows! it just keeps coming out, not even meaning to keep using it!)
6:40-7:10 a.m.
Complex track (9 laps)
80's
Steady pace
For any reader who is sick of TMI, oh well. This blog is really mostly for me to track stuff, see patterns, spout off, etc. I started my period last night, but haven't been feeling too bad physically. I got up this morning at 3:30 a.m. after waking up from a bad dream, but was able to fall back asleep. When Ian came in and got me at 6 a.m. I was really asleep, then he was immediately whining about watching a movie and going to the bathroom, etc...not how I was wanting to start our/my morning! By this time I think our noise had woken Cooper up, so I fed him, went in and asked Chris if he wanted to join me and go out with the boys too (so at least he couldn't be mad I didn't ask!) then told him to bring Cooper in our room when he was ready to shower. Ian again asked where I was going. It felt really nice outside and I get bogged down being in the gym, and since this is only my 2nd morning being out, I realized, it's not hot and it's not dark, so why don't I stay outside! So I decided to stay close and do some laps around the complex. I realized this isn't as boring as the treadmill, but that the whole "track" atmosphere still isn't that exciting, not much change in scenario, plus, just like on the treadmill, I focus way to much on how far I've gone and how many more laps I am going to do...I'd really like to do more of running out a certain amount of time and then turning around or mapping out 3-4 mile runs and heading out knowing where I need to go out to get the rest of the mileage on the way home. Not complaining. Glad I am out, but realizing these are some changes I'll probably need to make to not go crazy doing the same monotonous runs every day! :)
Oh, and I think I am a converted morning person!! Never thought I would be saying those words! When people have asked me what time of day I liked--I'd say none. I didn't like morning, in the past I have been so ornery, biting Dad and Laura's heads off during high school...I get exhausted at night, don't function well, usually don't get a ton accomplished, at least not on a consistent basis, especially when pregnant. So then I'd say, if anything, I was a middle-of-the-day-person. LOL. So I guess I have something else to thank my children for teaching me--because almost as habit, my body wakes up around 5:30 or 6 a.m., even if the boys aren't up yet. I can usually fall back asleep until they are awake, but I am realizing how much more I can get done in a day and how good it feels to already have accomplished so much when I get up and run and then have the whole day ahead of me. This morning, my 8 a.m. I had already run, made banana pancakes, and fed Cooper twice. I decided not to shower until after Cooper's nap because I decided to take the boys to the pool for the first time by myself. We had a blast and it's been a great day! I know lots of people talk about the benefits of running, more than just physical, and not that I'm expecting to change my life or me immediately, but I like the change in attitude I think it's started to have. I feel like I am slowing down and making time for this and paying attention in ways I had not been before. By making time for myself and setting some priorities I am recognizing other ways I need to do that both for myself, for the boys, for Chris and I and our family, in general. I hope this can stick! I also started a new book that is giving me some new insights (No Need for Speed).
I had felt pretty bummed that I hadn't made it out Monday and Tuesday but 2 days since then, especially two mornings in a row--as really lifted my spirits and enthusiasm. I am hoping for tomorrow and Saturday, too! Just keep getting up and going!! :)
I have also made another recent discovery--it takes me almost 2 miles to really start feeling good and warmed up. I always thought it was crazy that long distance runners almost ran more in their warm-up than the length of their race, but it's starting to make more sense! I guess the more ya run, the further your body is ready to keep going! (I keep saying that phrase, maybe I'm on to something with it...who knows! it just keeps coming out, not even meaning to keep using it!)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
get up and go!
3 miles
32 minutes
6:30-7 a.m.
Treadmill
Caleb stayed at our house for two nights while he was working on a job here in Vegas. I am beginning to wake up around 5:30 a.m. normally, but this morning Ian was up at 6 a.m. bugging Caleb, so I gave him some food and figured there was no reason I should try and lay back down, especially when there were two capable adults in the house to be with Ian, and Cooper was not awake yet! I took my phone and figured Chris could call me if he woke up. I didn't even tell Chris I was going. Which of course, when I got back, he wondered why I hadn't asked him to come (which I did do today and he went back to sleep...he he. At least I can say I asked him and he didn't want to come!). I had previously been worried that I wouldn't be able to run if I hadn't nursed Cooper yet, but it wasn't a problem at all. I had pumped later the night before, so that might have helped, but yay! I don't think that is an issue I need to worry about--another thing that had been holding back when I go. But now it shouldn't be a concern, unless of course he woke up and was starving while I was gone, but I could always come back fast if I needed to! I felt a little more freedom on that, it is a nice feeling. I love nursing Cooper, but sometimes it's hard when it doesn't make things as flexible for me and it really does determine a lot of the day--when, what, who, how long, etc.
I also had discovered a few weeks ago, how great my nursing sports bra really is. It was dirty so I threw on one of my very old sports bras, which I had used just fine when not nursing...lesson learned---there is a reason they recommend better supportive bras when nursing! :) Honestly, now that I'm a day away, I can't really remember what the run was like. There was another girl working out in the gym. I listened to my music and watch the news. There had been a shooting in Vegas after graduation and the teenager died that morning, so that was depressing to see and think about our boys going to school here...but otherwise the run was good. I really picked up the pace for a lot of it, especially toward the end and then cooled down the last little bit. It felt so good to be heading back to the house--in the morning--in the light--knowing I was just beginning my day and that I had already gotten my run in! I got to that night and was almost giddy knowing I didn't have to force myself to go over to the gym after the boys were asleep when I really am just ready to unwind and go to bed.
I was seriously really proud of myself for just getting up and going. When I got up Ian was still eating and playing around and Chris was in the shower. I showered before Cooper even woke up! I had almost not gone because I was worried that maybe he would wake up and Chris would hear him and Chris would feed him a bottle....excuses, excuses! But I just went and was so glad I did! Ian keeps asking and wondering where I am going and I hate having him think I'm abandoning him, but I really just need to get out and go!! :) Especially since I had not made it over Monday and Tuesday--because I was thinking I'd go at night, which of course doesn't happen, especially on Mondays after family night and then Caleb was here...I got to 10:00 that night and couldn't figure out why I hadn't just gone--I was worried about leaving Chris and not hanging out with him. If I give myself time I will come up with excuses and if I've just done it earlier that day, I still have the day ahead and I don't have to get to the end of the day and continue to make excuses and not go...I've already gone!! It is a very empowering and fulfilling feeling!
32 minutes
6:30-7 a.m.
Treadmill
Caleb stayed at our house for two nights while he was working on a job here in Vegas. I am beginning to wake up around 5:30 a.m. normally, but this morning Ian was up at 6 a.m. bugging Caleb, so I gave him some food and figured there was no reason I should try and lay back down, especially when there were two capable adults in the house to be with Ian, and Cooper was not awake yet! I took my phone and figured Chris could call me if he woke up. I didn't even tell Chris I was going. Which of course, when I got back, he wondered why I hadn't asked him to come (which I did do today and he went back to sleep...he he. At least I can say I asked him and he didn't want to come!). I had previously been worried that I wouldn't be able to run if I hadn't nursed Cooper yet, but it wasn't a problem at all. I had pumped later the night before, so that might have helped, but yay! I don't think that is an issue I need to worry about--another thing that had been holding back when I go. But now it shouldn't be a concern, unless of course he woke up and was starving while I was gone, but I could always come back fast if I needed to! I felt a little more freedom on that, it is a nice feeling. I love nursing Cooper, but sometimes it's hard when it doesn't make things as flexible for me and it really does determine a lot of the day--when, what, who, how long, etc.
I also had discovered a few weeks ago, how great my nursing sports bra really is. It was dirty so I threw on one of my very old sports bras, which I had used just fine when not nursing...lesson learned---there is a reason they recommend better supportive bras when nursing! :) Honestly, now that I'm a day away, I can't really remember what the run was like. There was another girl working out in the gym. I listened to my music and watch the news. There had been a shooting in Vegas after graduation and the teenager died that morning, so that was depressing to see and think about our boys going to school here...but otherwise the run was good. I really picked up the pace for a lot of it, especially toward the end and then cooled down the last little bit. It felt so good to be heading back to the house--in the morning--in the light--knowing I was just beginning my day and that I had already gotten my run in! I got to that night and was almost giddy knowing I didn't have to force myself to go over to the gym after the boys were asleep when I really am just ready to unwind and go to bed.
I was seriously really proud of myself for just getting up and going. When I got up Ian was still eating and playing around and Chris was in the shower. I showered before Cooper even woke up! I had almost not gone because I was worried that maybe he would wake up and Chris would hear him and Chris would feed him a bottle....excuses, excuses! But I just went and was so glad I did! Ian keeps asking and wondering where I am going and I hate having him think I'm abandoning him, but I really just need to get out and go!! :) Especially since I had not made it over Monday and Tuesday--because I was thinking I'd go at night, which of course doesn't happen, especially on Mondays after family night and then Caleb was here...I got to 10:00 that night and couldn't figure out why I hadn't just gone--I was worried about leaving Chris and not hanging out with him. If I give myself time I will come up with excuses and if I've just done it earlier that day, I still have the day ahead and I don't have to get to the end of the day and continue to make excuses and not go...I've already gone!! It is a very empowering and fulfilling feeling!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
feels good!
3.25 miles (.25 warm-up, 2.75 miles, .25 cool-down)
9-9:45 a.m.
35 minutes
Treadmill
Cooper slept into until 6:30 a.m. which was great. I made breakfast, then when Chris woke up headed to the gym. Cooper had laid back down for a nap a little after 8, so I knew I had a little time before he needed to eat again. The back of left thigh has been pretty sore, but it honestly almost feels good to have it be sore and need to be stretched. I just listened to music today. I have some slower songs on my Shuffle that don't really work well for running. I decided that if I ever get a Nano or iPod that I'll have a list just for running of all upbeat songs. :) I only ran three times this week, which may have been good to let my body rest in between because my runs on the treadmill have been faster than I was running before. It really has felt good to push it harder and be tired and sweaty by the end of the run. But today I was especially slow. I just couldn't really get into a groove. I finally did after I'd run about 2 miles. So I'm wondering if it takes me that long to get warmed up and then I could run. I sped up for a bit in the middle of my run but then cooled down at the end. I don't want to push it so hard that I hurt myself or am dying.
Tim McGraw's song "Not A Moment Too Soon" came on while I was running (see what I mean about lots of slow stuff!) and it got me thinking about when Chris and I were dating, engaged and first married. I was really hard on him. I was really immature. I said and did a lot of mean things that were really immature. I was naive in a lot of ways and very self-centered. I focused almost entirely on what I was thinking and wanting. I don't regret that we got married, but in a lot of ways I think we had some pretty hard uphill battles because I was young when we got married. But then again, so was Chris, since he hadn't even been home from his mission a year yet! So I'm not taking all of the credit for our first few years of learning to make our marriage work (heck, we still are learning to do that six years later! but we are more grown up now at least, so we're not dealing with that factor as well as trying to make a marriage work!!). But it really did get me to thinking about how my own personal struggles and things I was working through really affected our relationship and the way I treated Chris. It makes me feel sad and I feel like I owe him an apology because we did have some rough time, I think mostly because I was so young and still trying to figure out myself and life, and now a marriage and another person on top of all the other things I was clueless about.
9-9:45 a.m.
35 minutes
Treadmill
Cooper slept into until 6:30 a.m. which was great. I made breakfast, then when Chris woke up headed to the gym. Cooper had laid back down for a nap a little after 8, so I knew I had a little time before he needed to eat again. The back of left thigh has been pretty sore, but it honestly almost feels good to have it be sore and need to be stretched. I just listened to music today. I have some slower songs on my Shuffle that don't really work well for running. I decided that if I ever get a Nano or iPod that I'll have a list just for running of all upbeat songs. :) I only ran three times this week, which may have been good to let my body rest in between because my runs on the treadmill have been faster than I was running before. It really has felt good to push it harder and be tired and sweaty by the end of the run. But today I was especially slow. I just couldn't really get into a groove. I finally did after I'd run about 2 miles. So I'm wondering if it takes me that long to get warmed up and then I could run. I sped up for a bit in the middle of my run but then cooled down at the end. I don't want to push it so hard that I hurt myself or am dying.
Tim McGraw's song "Not A Moment Too Soon" came on while I was running (see what I mean about lots of slow stuff!) and it got me thinking about when Chris and I were dating, engaged and first married. I was really hard on him. I was really immature. I said and did a lot of mean things that were really immature. I was naive in a lot of ways and very self-centered. I focused almost entirely on what I was thinking and wanting. I don't regret that we got married, but in a lot of ways I think we had some pretty hard uphill battles because I was young when we got married. But then again, so was Chris, since he hadn't even been home from his mission a year yet! So I'm not taking all of the credit for our first few years of learning to make our marriage work (heck, we still are learning to do that six years later! but we are more grown up now at least, so we're not dealing with that factor as well as trying to make a marriage work!!). But it really did get me to thinking about how my own personal struggles and things I was working through really affected our relationship and the way I treated Chris. It makes me feel sad and I feel like I owe him an apology because we did have some rough time, I think mostly because I was so young and still trying to figure out myself and life, and now a marriage and another person on top of all the other things I was clueless about.
Friday, June 20, 2008
running with angels
I finished the book Running with Angels and had a bunch of quotes I had to write down because the book was very inspiring. It was motivating to me on a lot of levels, not just about running and staying in shape, but about starting good habits and patterns, taking care of myself personally, not just being a mom, etc.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
me time/just do it!
3+ miles
35 minutes
treadmill
warm-up, faster pace, slower cooling down
some toning
I am proud of myself that I made it back to the treadmill again. Sometimes it is hard to get over there in the evenings. By the time Chris gets home, we have dinner and get the kids down, I am thinking I'm ready to relax and go to bed (especially knowing Cooper will likely be up at 4:3 or 5:00 a.m.) I fed Coop while Chris and Ian went to the pool, then helped Ian get ready for bed while Chris finished showering. We read scriptures and said prayers then I let Chris finish with Ian's bedtime routine. Sometimes I feel like just taking off, feeling like I could make excuses for not doing scriptures and prayers together as a family, but then I remind myself that the difference in 5 or 10 minutes is nothing in comparison to the promised blessings of family prayer and scriptures. So I stop being dumb and stupid and spend a few extra minutes with my cute fam.
Luckily it didn't take me too long to find a good TV station. The Disney channel was near where I started my search and it was the end of High School Musical, which was fun to ask, especially the closing number. The movie and acting were cheesy, but I think the music and dancing is fun. I like upbeat, cheesy stuff (what can I say? I liked Lizzy McGuire, too. But Chris does too. So that doesn't make me feel as bad!). I brought my iShuffle as well and cranked that up a few times when the TV got boring. I really like listening to it loud. I found that it was easier for me to zone out and not realizing how long I'd been running or that I'd been tired when the music was on instead of watching TV. But Hannah Montana came on after the movie and since there is so much hype over Miley Cyrus I just had to watch. I have to admit, at first I thought it was really dumb and lame. But the end I thought it was still really cheesy, but kind of cute. It does worry me how much young girls are looking up to this. When I saw that Billy Ray Cyrus played the father in the show, it dawned on me...Miley Cyrus! So my theory is that this show is a way for a country "star" to get his daughter's music into the limelight through the Disney Channel. Seems like an interesting way to go, but she definitely has a following, so I guess whatever works...kind of weird but whatever. I does seem sad that so many little girls look up to her and idolize this little "celebrity" like Hannah Montana portrays on the show; it's not reality so it's hard for me to think it's really that healthy for girls to look up to that...who knows what it'll be like if or when we have a girl. Especially because I know there was something in the news about her right before she came to the Stadium of Fire in Provo last year. I think we really do need to be careful as parents to who and what our children idolize and take interest in. That probably is easier said than done I'm sure I will find!
Despite my analysis of the show, it really was fun to just kick back, have a really good workout (it felt so nice) and just be me and doing something recreational. Reading Running with Angels has made me think a lot about what I need to do to focus on me and spend time working on my talents and needs so I don't get 5, 10, 20 years down the road and feel miserable and sorry for myself. I know I am a mother and that is my most important calling, but I also know I need to be me and take care of myself and my needs or I won't be able to be a good mom. This is a hard concept for a mom, especially since so much of my responsibilities as a mom are about being selfless and focusing on and caring for the needs of others. Especially having a nursing baby who truly is dependent on me for everything, including be fed at least 6 times a day! I am not complaining. I am so grateful I can take care of him, but is a lot of work, I have to admit!!
I also was thinking how good it felt to be running. I was all sweaty and running a pretty good pace (for me right now in my running! I still feel slow! But my legs are getting stronger and it seriously just feels so good knowing I'm making time to run how much or how slow!!). It made me think of the saying: Just do it! Because a lot of times I make a list of excuses why not to go, that I am leaving Chris, or what about the kids, or the house, or that I could be doing others things...but when I get there and start going and when I am done and afterwards, I feel SO good! And am so glad I did it!! So I need to make sure to remember this feeling so that when I am trying to decide, the decision is made already, that I'll go and have a great time and not let the feelings and doubts before hand rob me of some good time for myself that has lots of good benefits for me personally and for my family.
I didn't make it out yesterday. Chris says we can try and have me go in the morning if I feed Cooper. If he keeps waking up early, I could totally feed him and go for 1/2 hour or an hour and still be back to help with Ian and get Chris off to work. But today (Friday) Coop slept until 8 a.m.! No complaining there! But I can't really go run when I need to nurse first! I could pump and go...I guess I'll just need to decide how we want to prioritize and rearrange stuff/how I want to make sure it happens almost every day. I can tell it's easy to just let it slide. If it doesn't happen in the morning (and it hasn't yet, since it's gotten hot; I haven't taken the boys out in days with me in the morning like had been our habit...). So I really am needing to look at things again and figure out how I want to make sure the runs happen. Like last night I went to the temple in the evening and by the time I went to Sonic (I really wanted one of their strawberry slushes!) on my way home, it was almost 9:30 p.m. and I spend time with Chris and still didn't get to bed until after midnight, I think...it really is a matter of prioritizing, communicating and making sure things happen. If I want them to, they will because I will do what is necessary to rearrange or reprioritize. But it really is necessary to commit to doing it or it is so easy to get to the end of the day, not having done it. It definitely won't just happen on it's own without some effort, planning, commitment on my part, and often support from Chris!
And then tonight we have plans with friends. So I hope it can happen when I get home, but am not sure if it'll work. I'll for sure try to go Saturday morning, so that would be 3 runs this week. Which is less than I'd been doing before, but better than nothing. Keep moving forward right? Don't get down, just do the best I can EACH DAY and recommit the next day and focus on that day and just do it. That way I won't get bogged down feeling discouraged. Focus on my efforts and the positive and take it one day at a time!!
35 minutes
treadmill
warm-up, faster pace, slower cooling down
some toning
I am proud of myself that I made it back to the treadmill again. Sometimes it is hard to get over there in the evenings. By the time Chris gets home, we have dinner and get the kids down, I am thinking I'm ready to relax and go to bed (especially knowing Cooper will likely be up at 4:3 or 5:00 a.m.) I fed Coop while Chris and Ian went to the pool, then helped Ian get ready for bed while Chris finished showering. We read scriptures and said prayers then I let Chris finish with Ian's bedtime routine. Sometimes I feel like just taking off, feeling like I could make excuses for not doing scriptures and prayers together as a family, but then I remind myself that the difference in 5 or 10 minutes is nothing in comparison to the promised blessings of family prayer and scriptures. So I stop being dumb and stupid and spend a few extra minutes with my cute fam.
Luckily it didn't take me too long to find a good TV station. The Disney channel was near where I started my search and it was the end of High School Musical, which was fun to ask, especially the closing number. The movie and acting were cheesy, but I think the music and dancing is fun. I like upbeat, cheesy stuff (what can I say? I liked Lizzy McGuire, too. But Chris does too. So that doesn't make me feel as bad!). I brought my iShuffle as well and cranked that up a few times when the TV got boring. I really like listening to it loud. I found that it was easier for me to zone out and not realizing how long I'd been running or that I'd been tired when the music was on instead of watching TV. But Hannah Montana came on after the movie and since there is so much hype over Miley Cyrus I just had to watch. I have to admit, at first I thought it was really dumb and lame. But the end I thought it was still really cheesy, but kind of cute. It does worry me how much young girls are looking up to this. When I saw that Billy Ray Cyrus played the father in the show, it dawned on me...Miley Cyrus! So my theory is that this show is a way for a country "star" to get his daughter's music into the limelight through the Disney Channel. Seems like an interesting way to go, but she definitely has a following, so I guess whatever works...kind of weird but whatever. I does seem sad that so many little girls look up to her and idolize this little "celebrity" like Hannah Montana portrays on the show; it's not reality so it's hard for me to think it's really that healthy for girls to look up to that...who knows what it'll be like if or when we have a girl. Especially because I know there was something in the news about her right before she came to the Stadium of Fire in Provo last year. I think we really do need to be careful as parents to who and what our children idolize and take interest in. That probably is easier said than done I'm sure I will find!
Despite my analysis of the show, it really was fun to just kick back, have a really good workout (it felt so nice) and just be me and doing something recreational. Reading Running with Angels has made me think a lot about what I need to do to focus on me and spend time working on my talents and needs so I don't get 5, 10, 20 years down the road and feel miserable and sorry for myself. I know I am a mother and that is my most important calling, but I also know I need to be me and take care of myself and my needs or I won't be able to be a good mom. This is a hard concept for a mom, especially since so much of my responsibilities as a mom are about being selfless and focusing on and caring for the needs of others. Especially having a nursing baby who truly is dependent on me for everything, including be fed at least 6 times a day! I am not complaining. I am so grateful I can take care of him, but is a lot of work, I have to admit!!
I also was thinking how good it felt to be running. I was all sweaty and running a pretty good pace (for me right now in my running! I still feel slow! But my legs are getting stronger and it seriously just feels so good knowing I'm making time to run how much or how slow!!). It made me think of the saying: Just do it! Because a lot of times I make a list of excuses why not to go, that I am leaving Chris, or what about the kids, or the house, or that I could be doing others things...but when I get there and start going and when I am done and afterwards, I feel SO good! And am so glad I did it!! So I need to make sure to remember this feeling so that when I am trying to decide, the decision is made already, that I'll go and have a great time and not let the feelings and doubts before hand rob me of some good time for myself that has lots of good benefits for me personally and for my family.
I didn't make it out yesterday. Chris says we can try and have me go in the morning if I feed Cooper. If he keeps waking up early, I could totally feed him and go for 1/2 hour or an hour and still be back to help with Ian and get Chris off to work. But today (Friday) Coop slept until 8 a.m.! No complaining there! But I can't really go run when I need to nurse first! I could pump and go...I guess I'll just need to decide how we want to prioritize and rearrange stuff/how I want to make sure it happens almost every day. I can tell it's easy to just let it slide. If it doesn't happen in the morning (and it hasn't yet, since it's gotten hot; I haven't taken the boys out in days with me in the morning like had been our habit...). So I really am needing to look at things again and figure out how I want to make sure the runs happen. Like last night I went to the temple in the evening and by the time I went to Sonic (I really wanted one of their strawberry slushes!) on my way home, it was almost 9:30 p.m. and I spend time with Chris and still didn't get to bed until after midnight, I think...it really is a matter of prioritizing, communicating and making sure things happen. If I want them to, they will because I will do what is necessary to rearrange or reprioritize. But it really is necessary to commit to doing it or it is so easy to get to the end of the day, not having done it. It definitely won't just happen on it's own without some effort, planning, commitment on my part, and often support from Chris!
And then tonight we have plans with friends. So I hope it can happen when I get home, but am not sure if it'll work. I'll for sure try to go Saturday morning, so that would be 3 runs this week. Which is less than I'd been doing before, but better than nothing. Keep moving forward right? Don't get down, just do the best I can EACH DAY and recommit the next day and focus on that day and just do it. That way I won't get bogged down feeling discouraged. Focus on my efforts and the positive and take it one day at a time!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
being flexible
3+ miles
8:30-9 p.m.
35 minutes
Treadmill
Steady, slower pace, few minutes of faster paced
With the change in the weather (it is still in the 90s, even at 7-8 a.m.) I am needing to figure out something different for getting my runs/exercise in. Luckily Chris was a sweetheart and after we all went to the pool, I fed Cooper and put him down, we read scriptures and said prayers as a family, then he put Ian down while I headed to the complex gym. We're gonna have to look at things, but for right now, it seems like the gym might be my best option, since in the mornings, even if I fed Cooper and then went on a run, I worry about being outside by myself around here and mornings are kind of crazy taking care of the kids, doing breakfast and Chris out the door by 8 a.m. So it might be evening runs at the gym. We'll see. As long as it's happening. I really would like to find a running partner and be outside, but seriously, it is still 100 degrees at 9 p.m. Crazy huh? LOL!
I watched the Reba show, which was actually kind of funny, kind of lame, but distracting, since running a treadmill can seem pretty tedious. It was an episode with therapy, so that made it more funny. Plus I brought my Shuffle and blasted some music for a bit, during commercials. I know many runners don't like listening to music and I really prefer thinking during my runs or being able to talk to the boys, but when I'm stuck inside on a treadmill, it really helps pass the time and keep me going when I otherwise want to be done on there after 5 minutes! :)
Yesterday Cooper had me up a little after 4 and Chris was WONDERFUL and fed Coop a bottle and laid him back down and got Ian breakfast and a movie so I could sleep in. So no exercise yesterday. For some reason I feel like I need to workout 6 days a week--like every other day would be bad. I really need to cut myself a slack and be glad if I get a few workouts in a week. I really am doing so much better! As before I was doing nothing!! :) Tomorrow I was wondering if I should try and get up early and go, but not sure if that'll work. I am planning to go to the temple for ward temple night, so we'll see if I can go when I get back. It's just hard to be away from Chris when I know I need to be spending some time with him when he's home in the evenings!!
8:30-9 p.m.
35 minutes
Treadmill
Steady, slower pace, few minutes of faster paced
With the change in the weather (it is still in the 90s, even at 7-8 a.m.) I am needing to figure out something different for getting my runs/exercise in. Luckily Chris was a sweetheart and after we all went to the pool, I fed Cooper and put him down, we read scriptures and said prayers as a family, then he put Ian down while I headed to the complex gym. We're gonna have to look at things, but for right now, it seems like the gym might be my best option, since in the mornings, even if I fed Cooper and then went on a run, I worry about being outside by myself around here and mornings are kind of crazy taking care of the kids, doing breakfast and Chris out the door by 8 a.m. So it might be evening runs at the gym. We'll see. As long as it's happening. I really would like to find a running partner and be outside, but seriously, it is still 100 degrees at 9 p.m. Crazy huh? LOL!
I watched the Reba show, which was actually kind of funny, kind of lame, but distracting, since running a treadmill can seem pretty tedious. It was an episode with therapy, so that made it more funny. Plus I brought my Shuffle and blasted some music for a bit, during commercials. I know many runners don't like listening to music and I really prefer thinking during my runs or being able to talk to the boys, but when I'm stuck inside on a treadmill, it really helps pass the time and keep me going when I otherwise want to be done on there after 5 minutes! :)
Yesterday Cooper had me up a little after 4 and Chris was WONDERFUL and fed Coop a bottle and laid him back down and got Ian breakfast and a movie so I could sleep in. So no exercise yesterday. For some reason I feel like I need to workout 6 days a week--like every other day would be bad. I really need to cut myself a slack and be glad if I get a few workouts in a week. I really am doing so much better! As before I was doing nothing!! :) Tomorrow I was wondering if I should try and get up early and go, but not sure if that'll work. I am planning to go to the temple for ward temple night, so we'll see if I can go when I get back. It's just hard to be away from Chris when I know I need to be spending some time with him when he's home in the evenings!!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
a longer run
4 miles (almost 3 miles out, park, just over 1 mile back)
7:30-8:45 a.m. (30 minutes or less out, 12 minutes back)
Past Bird Park, out to next major intersection, Slide Park, back home through side streets
80's (I figured out I can get the current temp on my phone so that's exciting!)
Chris went to a golf tournament for work this morning, so the boys and I headed for a run and the park. I decided to go a little longer before we went to the park so I could lengthen the run overall. Ian was a little confused when we ran past a park we often play at, but it worked well. Cooper fell asleep on the way to the park and I had a really good run there. We played for a little bit, then headed back so I could buy tickets online for Val. The run back was short but a good, steady pace. It felt good to increase my overall mileage for a run.
I added a list of races I'd like to run. That really got me excited about some of the cool places things I have to look forward to. Seeing the pictures of runners on the websites was fun! I almost had to laugh at how many marathons I put on there--we'll see! Since I haven't even run one yet! LOL. But I figure these are the things that keep me motivated and excited about this.
7:30-8:45 a.m. (30 minutes or less out, 12 minutes back)
Past Bird Park, out to next major intersection, Slide Park, back home through side streets
80's (I figured out I can get the current temp on my phone so that's exciting!)
Chris went to a golf tournament for work this morning, so the boys and I headed for a run and the park. I decided to go a little longer before we went to the park so I could lengthen the run overall. Ian was a little confused when we ran past a park we often play at, but it worked well. Cooper fell asleep on the way to the park and I had a really good run there. We played for a little bit, then headed back so I could buy tickets online for Val. The run back was short but a good, steady pace. It felt good to increase my overall mileage for a run.
I added a list of races I'd like to run. That really got me excited about some of the cool places things I have to look forward to. Seeing the pictures of runners on the websites was fun! I almost had to laugh at how many marathons I put on there--we'll see! Since I haven't even run one yet! LOL. But I figure these are the things that keep me motivated and excited about this.
Friday, June 13, 2008
making things a little easier
2 miles (6 laps)
8:15-8:45 a.m.
20 minutes (approx. 10 min/mile)
Complex
upper 70's (guess)
I am typing this a day later and I already can't remember what I thought about or how the run went! That's funny. I either am getting older than I thought or my "daily" running habits are starting to run together--I truly hope it's the latter! :) Cooper did get pretty fussy on this run. Ian was a pretty good boy. He had wanted to watch a movie before we left, but luckily complied pretty easy when I told him we could watch it as soon as the run was over while mommy was showering. I think I get some pretty funny looks as I run around the complex, especially from the security guards, but oh well. I am doing the best I can to get exercise in and at this point, taking my boys with me is the best I come up with. I seriously think I am getting some good strength/cross-training in pushing that stroller though! We chased birds again today, which Ian thinks is fun. Unfortunately there was one dumpster that was pretty smelly, so that was a little yucky, just had to be careful how I was breathing. We did make it to the library later that morning, late, but not because of running. I didn't get a run in on Thursday because we had an appointment to get Cooper's 6 month shots/well-baby check at 9:30 a.m. and I didn't want to shove too much into the morning. I'm realizing that if I want to get my runs in I really have to just make sure to plan on them. Even if I have stuff to be to after, if I start early enough, it is totally possible. Plus, I did lay my clothes out the night before, and put them on right as I got up, that way I felt like I'd already committed myself to going and I just had to get the boys ready and go, rather than running around in my pj's and then attempting to rush and get ready. I think that will really help.
As I ran today I did feel like I was lame for only running 2 miles or running at such a slow pace, but I just have to keep reminding myself that some physical activity is better than nothing. I am establishing good habits. The mere fact that I am getting out there, despite how much or fast I run, is setting me up for future success as I make this a habit each day. I also am getting excited that my accumulated mileage is adding up; not that I'm really aiming for a certain thing, but it really is exciting to see that I've been at this for almost a month and that most days, even if I am a bit resistant and it is kind of annoying to get everything ready and the boys situated to get out the door, I really do look forward to going out for the run.
8:15-8:45 a.m.
20 minutes (approx. 10 min/mile)
Complex
upper 70's (guess)
I am typing this a day later and I already can't remember what I thought about or how the run went! That's funny. I either am getting older than I thought or my "daily" running habits are starting to run together--I truly hope it's the latter! :) Cooper did get pretty fussy on this run. Ian was a pretty good boy. He had wanted to watch a movie before we left, but luckily complied pretty easy when I told him we could watch it as soon as the run was over while mommy was showering. I think I get some pretty funny looks as I run around the complex, especially from the security guards, but oh well. I am doing the best I can to get exercise in and at this point, taking my boys with me is the best I come up with. I seriously think I am getting some good strength/cross-training in pushing that stroller though! We chased birds again today, which Ian thinks is fun. Unfortunately there was one dumpster that was pretty smelly, so that was a little yucky, just had to be careful how I was breathing. We did make it to the library later that morning, late, but not because of running. I didn't get a run in on Thursday because we had an appointment to get Cooper's 6 month shots/well-baby check at 9:30 a.m. and I didn't want to shove too much into the morning. I'm realizing that if I want to get my runs in I really have to just make sure to plan on them. Even if I have stuff to be to after, if I start early enough, it is totally possible. Plus, I did lay my clothes out the night before, and put them on right as I got up, that way I felt like I'd already committed myself to going and I just had to get the boys ready and go, rather than running around in my pj's and then attempting to rush and get ready. I think that will really help.
As I ran today I did feel like I was lame for only running 2 miles or running at such a slow pace, but I just have to keep reminding myself that some physical activity is better than nothing. I am establishing good habits. The mere fact that I am getting out there, despite how much or fast I run, is setting me up for future success as I make this a habit each day. I also am getting excited that my accumulated mileage is adding up; not that I'm really aiming for a certain thing, but it really is exciting to see that I've been at this for almost a month and that most days, even if I am a bit resistant and it is kind of annoying to get everything ready and the boys situated to get out the door, I really do look forward to going out for the run.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
first early morning run
2 miles (6 laps)
Complex track
6:40-7:00 a.m.
Low 70's (or cooler; best guess. Was windy, almost a cool breeze! felt really good)
Cooper has been getting up between 5 and 6 a.m. each morning to nurse. He doesn't have to go back to sleep either, and usually ends up waking Ian...luckily this morning Coop was up at 5:15 but Ian didn't wanter in until 6:15. I decided since they were both up and happy (for the time being!) I'd go for a jog earlier than usual since today was playgroup and it doesn't end up happening if I wait too long. We didn't end up going to playgroup, so it wouldn't have mattered today, but oh well! It felt SO good to be coming in from a run at 7:00 instead of maybe leaving the house by 9 a.m.! Big difference. Chris felt bad I didn't wake him up to come too. I was just worried about him getting enough sleep. I am kind of tired during the day, but most days am getting pretty used to the earlier wake-up time. Maybe I can turn into a morning person! :) It would be better if we went to bed a bit earlier (before 11 p.m.) so that is what I told Chris we need to try for.
The run was pretty slow, but I was happy to get it in. And the boys were both really happy. If I can get in this habit, I think it's an almost ideal time for the boys, especially Coop, he seems a lot more pleasant than when we go after 2nd nap/feeding. It also felt SO good out there. As soon as it gets hot I am going to HAVE to get up early and go, 'cause I here it's hot by like 9 a.m.!
Complex track
6:40-7:00 a.m.
Low 70's (or cooler; best guess. Was windy, almost a cool breeze! felt really good)
Cooper has been getting up between 5 and 6 a.m. each morning to nurse. He doesn't have to go back to sleep either, and usually ends up waking Ian...luckily this morning Coop was up at 5:15 but Ian didn't wanter in until 6:15. I decided since they were both up and happy (for the time being!) I'd go for a jog earlier than usual since today was playgroup and it doesn't end up happening if I wait too long. We didn't end up going to playgroup, so it wouldn't have mattered today, but oh well! It felt SO good to be coming in from a run at 7:00 instead of maybe leaving the house by 9 a.m.! Big difference. Chris felt bad I didn't wake him up to come too. I was just worried about him getting enough sleep. I am kind of tired during the day, but most days am getting pretty used to the earlier wake-up time. Maybe I can turn into a morning person! :) It would be better if we went to bed a bit earlier (before 11 p.m.) so that is what I told Chris we need to try for.
The run was pretty slow, but I was happy to get it in. And the boys were both really happy. If I can get in this habit, I think it's an almost ideal time for the boys, especially Coop, he seems a lot more pleasant than when we go after 2nd nap/feeding. It also felt SO good out there. As soon as it gets hot I am going to HAVE to get up early and go, 'cause I here it's hot by like 9 a.m.!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
trials make us stronger
2.5 miles
9:10-10:00 a.m. (about 10 minutes each way)
Bird Park
80's (best guess; it was probably one of the hottest days so far. Gonna have to start going earlier!)
Whew! I am proud of myself for even getting out today! And most of that wasn't even just 'cause I was being lazy. Cooper and Ian were up at 5:45 a.m. and I was dozy for awhile and wanted to crawl back in bed. But I got moving around and was fine. I should have gotten my running clothes on and the stroller and everything ready while Cooper was asleep, that would have helped somewhat. I have decided that I need to set my running clothes/shoes out the night before and make sure everything is ready in the stroller, that way in the morning, all I'll need to do is get the boys ready and we'll be off. I think it's hard on them when I have a ton to do and then we still have to go.
It definitely felt hotter when I walked out the door to leave this morning. I was feeling it on the run out, especially with the wind blowing against me. I was thankful for it in a way, because it did cool things off a bit, but it did make the run to the park harder, especially when I was already feeling like I was moving slow.
But to back up--the part about barely getting out of the house--Ian had a meltdown this morning and was furious at me when I turned off the computer, saying game time was over and we were going on a run to the park. He pulled a screaming, no time-out, biting moment. I let him go at it for awhile, not quite sure what to do to make things better (some people would probably say this behavior deserves a spanking; I just can't see how that would help things...I am not sure what he needs at this point, but I just don't feel like that is it. Sorry to those who would disagree.), then decided just to hold him down, dress him and buckle him in the stroller, screaming the entire time. By this point Cooper had also started screaming. So by the time I was pulling the stroller out the door, I had both kids screaming (luckily I had remained calm all things considered). They were both quiet as soon as we hit the pavement, so that was good. I guess maybe it was inspiration to do what I did. :) Luckily it did change the course of the day and things have been good since.
We made it to the park, right as the group of kids did that were there yesterday (gonna have to get out earlier for two reasons now--to beat the heat and the kids to the park). They made Ian a little more nervous today and he tried to run and play "hit" a few of them, but they just stared at him. I worry that this makes him feel sad, but I think he's okay. He still has a lot to learn about interacting appropriately, and I need to do better at giving him opportunities to do this. I held Cooper while Ian played, but then he was ready to go. Ian resisted some, but overall was good.
The run home was better, I was almost thinking I was feeling good enough that I'd do another mile around the complex, but by the time I entered the complex I was slowing down and I didn't want to push my luck with the boys, so I figured I should call it quits, I had gotten out today despite some roadblocks and had a decent run.
So the wind on the way and Ian beforehand got me thinking about trials and how we need to keep going and push against them, rather than just quitting or turning back. We do miss out on things in life when we don't keep going no matter what is going on or what has happened in the past.
I also was feeling "guilty" about my slow pace (probably a 10 minute mile or worse sometimes) but I had to remind myself that I am pushing the jogger as well, so I can't feel too bad about it. That also goes along with my whole trial analogy, as resistance like this will make me stronger. I'm sure when I run or race without the boys, it'll have paid off that I was used to jogging pushing so much extra weight!
9:10-10:00 a.m. (about 10 minutes each way)
Bird Park
80's (best guess; it was probably one of the hottest days so far. Gonna have to start going earlier!)
Whew! I am proud of myself for even getting out today! And most of that wasn't even just 'cause I was being lazy. Cooper and Ian were up at 5:45 a.m. and I was dozy for awhile and wanted to crawl back in bed. But I got moving around and was fine. I should have gotten my running clothes on and the stroller and everything ready while Cooper was asleep, that would have helped somewhat. I have decided that I need to set my running clothes/shoes out the night before and make sure everything is ready in the stroller, that way in the morning, all I'll need to do is get the boys ready and we'll be off. I think it's hard on them when I have a ton to do and then we still have to go.
It definitely felt hotter when I walked out the door to leave this morning. I was feeling it on the run out, especially with the wind blowing against me. I was thankful for it in a way, because it did cool things off a bit, but it did make the run to the park harder, especially when I was already feeling like I was moving slow.
But to back up--the part about barely getting out of the house--Ian had a meltdown this morning and was furious at me when I turned off the computer, saying game time was over and we were going on a run to the park. He pulled a screaming, no time-out, biting moment. I let him go at it for awhile, not quite sure what to do to make things better (some people would probably say this behavior deserves a spanking; I just can't see how that would help things...I am not sure what he needs at this point, but I just don't feel like that is it. Sorry to those who would disagree.), then decided just to hold him down, dress him and buckle him in the stroller, screaming the entire time. By this point Cooper had also started screaming. So by the time I was pulling the stroller out the door, I had both kids screaming (luckily I had remained calm all things considered). They were both quiet as soon as we hit the pavement, so that was good. I guess maybe it was inspiration to do what I did. :) Luckily it did change the course of the day and things have been good since.
We made it to the park, right as the group of kids did that were there yesterday (gonna have to get out earlier for two reasons now--to beat the heat and the kids to the park). They made Ian a little more nervous today and he tried to run and play "hit" a few of them, but they just stared at him. I worry that this makes him feel sad, but I think he's okay. He still has a lot to learn about interacting appropriately, and I need to do better at giving him opportunities to do this. I held Cooper while Ian played, but then he was ready to go. Ian resisted some, but overall was good.
The run home was better, I was almost thinking I was feeling good enough that I'd do another mile around the complex, but by the time I entered the complex I was slowing down and I didn't want to push my luck with the boys, so I figured I should call it quits, I had gotten out today despite some roadblocks and had a decent run.
So the wind on the way and Ian beforehand got me thinking about trials and how we need to keep going and push against them, rather than just quitting or turning back. We do miss out on things in life when we don't keep going no matter what is going on or what has happened in the past.
I also was feeling "guilty" about my slow pace (probably a 10 minute mile or worse sometimes) but I had to remind myself that I am pushing the jogger as well, so I can't feel too bad about it. That also goes along with my whole trial analogy, as resistance like this will make me stronger. I'm sure when I run or race without the boys, it'll have paid off that I was used to jogging pushing so much extra weight!
Monday, June 9, 2008
playing with my boys/accountable to my blog
3 miles (1 mile/2 miles)
9:10-10:20 a.m. (10 minutes out, 15 minutes back, playing in between)
Bird Park (different/longer new path home, around block--ended from the east)
80's (best guess; it felt hot, but I didn't check so it might not have been that hot already)
I tend to ask Ian where he wants to go on our runs, because I figure he is doing my a favor to sit in the stroller and be good for an extended period of time. Plus it is fun that he is able to play and we are all able to get out of the house. I have realized another good thing about jogging with my boys is that I am a captive audience. It may not be exactly what Ian would choose to do with me, but at least it is teaching me to spend time with him in the middle of our runs when we stop and play and to talk to him and ask him questions as we run.
I was tired on way the run out to the park this morning. After I stopped and stretched after a few blocks, I did better. The playground at the park was empty when we got there but quickly filled up when a children's summer program from the community center next door brought a large group of children out to play. At first Ian wasn't sure what to think, and then he seemed to want to play with them, but no one really would. One older boy (probably around 7) even started pushing Ian around, which I quickly stopped. Cooper was ready to go, which makes Ian kind of mad, but we went and played on the other "blue playground" (more of a workout playground with bars and stuff) which was mostly empty. I think all those kids were a bit much for Ian; for Cooper for sure.
On the jog home I was feeling really good, much better than the run on the way out, so instead of taking the same way back, I decided to go down a new road to see some new scenery and add some mileage to the run. It was getting hot, so I was worried about that, but did fine. It ended up being a good run. I even came back on roads that before I would not have thought about running on! It's funny how much my perceptions have changed in the last month. I know I still need to be alert and careful, but I am much less skittish (like not waking up all through the night worried if the boys are okay or if someone has broken into our house; I still do check to make sure the lappy and our camera are here when I leave during the day, but overall I am way less paranoid! Relieving! :) ).
Today as I talked with Ian at the park I really did appreciate that running is giving me a time to play with the boys. It's a way for me to get out of the house and get outside and go to the park. My runs may not be the best and aren't continuous mileage, since we stop to play in-between, but at least I'll be in better shape and hopefully have a better relationship with my boys. Maybe I'll actually learn to play one of these days too! Who knows--exercise and my relationship with Chris have improved lately, so I figure there is hope for anything at this point!
I've really enjoyed my runs because I am getting more familiar with the area. When we decided where we were going to live this summer, Chris and I got on Google Maps and mapped out a few places, including this park that I go to often. I remember thinking, that's cool, that park is close, I wonder if I could walk to it. But of course I didn't know what was in between our condo and there, so I didn't really know. So it's been nice to get here and find out that though we are near the Strip and the "city" and there are businesses nearby, pretty much in our "backyard" and at various places near us, are lots of little neighborhoods with houses.
It is weird that many (not a lot, but enough that it stands out) of the houses around here have bars on their doors and windows. It reminds me of the song by Tim McGraw, "Where the Green Grass Grows." I really liked that song (especially when I wanted to move to Orderville to be with my high school heartthrob who I though I was in "love" with; funny how times change!). But it has made me wonder what it would really be like to live here. It's strange to think of living in a place where people would actually PUT bars on their doors and windows, because there is a need to. It's especially funny because we live in the "red zone" of Las Vegas, which is the highest crime zone, which I was totally freaked out about (and people on a Las Vegas forum acted like you would practically die living here...) I drove down some streets further north over the weekend and am very grateful we don't live there; the major street we live on seems much nicer and safer. I don't think I would have jogged down that one home if I lived on that street. But anyways, it just makes me wonder what the more suburban areas are like. And overall, what kind of home and place Chris and I want to live and raise our family...
I also realized today that my thoughts while I am running do go toward what I will write in this day's post for the blog. So I guess I've realized I am feeling accountable to my running blog, both for my run, that it actually happens, and for what I think about while I'm out there. I think that maybe that helps me think about and focus in on important things that I would want to record, so maybe my thoughts are a little more productive that way...
9:10-10:20 a.m. (10 minutes out, 15 minutes back, playing in between)
Bird Park (different/longer new path home, around block--ended from the east)
80's (best guess; it felt hot, but I didn't check so it might not have been that hot already)
I tend to ask Ian where he wants to go on our runs, because I figure he is doing my a favor to sit in the stroller and be good for an extended period of time. Plus it is fun that he is able to play and we are all able to get out of the house. I have realized another good thing about jogging with my boys is that I am a captive audience. It may not be exactly what Ian would choose to do with me, but at least it is teaching me to spend time with him in the middle of our runs when we stop and play and to talk to him and ask him questions as we run.
I was tired on way the run out to the park this morning. After I stopped and stretched after a few blocks, I did better. The playground at the park was empty when we got there but quickly filled up when a children's summer program from the community center next door brought a large group of children out to play. At first Ian wasn't sure what to think, and then he seemed to want to play with them, but no one really would. One older boy (probably around 7) even started pushing Ian around, which I quickly stopped. Cooper was ready to go, which makes Ian kind of mad, but we went and played on the other "blue playground" (more of a workout playground with bars and stuff) which was mostly empty. I think all those kids were a bit much for Ian; for Cooper for sure.
On the jog home I was feeling really good, much better than the run on the way out, so instead of taking the same way back, I decided to go down a new road to see some new scenery and add some mileage to the run. It was getting hot, so I was worried about that, but did fine. It ended up being a good run. I even came back on roads that before I would not have thought about running on! It's funny how much my perceptions have changed in the last month. I know I still need to be alert and careful, but I am much less skittish (like not waking up all through the night worried if the boys are okay or if someone has broken into our house; I still do check to make sure the lappy and our camera are here when I leave during the day, but overall I am way less paranoid! Relieving! :) ).
Today as I talked with Ian at the park I really did appreciate that running is giving me a time to play with the boys. It's a way for me to get out of the house and get outside and go to the park. My runs may not be the best and aren't continuous mileage, since we stop to play in-between, but at least I'll be in better shape and hopefully have a better relationship with my boys. Maybe I'll actually learn to play one of these days too! Who knows--exercise and my relationship with Chris have improved lately, so I figure there is hope for anything at this point!
I've really enjoyed my runs because I am getting more familiar with the area. When we decided where we were going to live this summer, Chris and I got on Google Maps and mapped out a few places, including this park that I go to often. I remember thinking, that's cool, that park is close, I wonder if I could walk to it. But of course I didn't know what was in between our condo and there, so I didn't really know. So it's been nice to get here and find out that though we are near the Strip and the "city" and there are businesses nearby, pretty much in our "backyard" and at various places near us, are lots of little neighborhoods with houses.
It is weird that many (not a lot, but enough that it stands out) of the houses around here have bars on their doors and windows. It reminds me of the song by Tim McGraw, "Where the Green Grass Grows." I really liked that song (especially when I wanted to move to Orderville to be with my high school heartthrob who I though I was in "love" with; funny how times change!). But it has made me wonder what it would really be like to live here. It's strange to think of living in a place where people would actually PUT bars on their doors and windows, because there is a need to. It's especially funny because we live in the "red zone" of Las Vegas, which is the highest crime zone, which I was totally freaked out about (and people on a Las Vegas forum acted like you would practically die living here...) I drove down some streets further north over the weekend and am very grateful we don't live there; the major street we live on seems much nicer and safer. I don't think I would have jogged down that one home if I lived on that street. But anyways, it just makes me wonder what the more suburban areas are like. And overall, what kind of home and place Chris and I want to live and raise our family...
I also realized today that my thoughts while I am running do go toward what I will write in this day's post for the blog. So I guess I've realized I am feeling accountable to my running blog, both for my run, that it actually happens, and for what I think about while I'm out there. I think that maybe that helps me think about and focus in on important things that I would want to record, so maybe my thoughts are a little more productive that way...
Saturday, June 7, 2008
just the two of us
2 miles (run/walk)
7:45-8:30 a.m.
Around the neighborhood (up to park, around block and back)
70's
My family came in town Friday night and we stayed up late with them. But of course the boys were still up around 6 a.m. So...after feeding Cooper and putting him back down for a nap (love that he's already been up, ate, and is going back to sleep before others have even gotten up once!) and giving Ian some breakfast and a movie to watch in his "cave," we told Nicole to call us if they needed us, but that they should be fine while we went out for a run.
We walked for a few blocks, then jogged for about 10 minutes, then walked most of the rest of the way home. It was just nice for Chris and I to be out alone together, without any kids. Though I did realize one perk of having the jogger is to hold water. It felt pretty good outside and there are some beautiful bushes in bloom with pink, white, and orange/red flowers--very pretty!
I am proud of Chris for coming with me. I know he wants to get back in shape. It can kind of feel slow at first, but I'd really like us to start some better habits right now. It's not like life will ever slow down and that there will be a better time than now to start. He has a hard time running with his asthma and allergies, but I'm hoping with time and practice, we can increase his abilities.
P.S. I didn't get out running yesterday. It may have been an excuse, but they were turning our water off from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and I really wanted to make sure I got a shower, especially since we needed to be to the library by 10:30. I hate feeling like I am making excuses, but I did get 4 runs in this week, so I can't feel too guilty!
7:45-8:30 a.m.
Around the neighborhood (up to park, around block and back)
70's
My family came in town Friday night and we stayed up late with them. But of course the boys were still up around 6 a.m. So...after feeding Cooper and putting him back down for a nap (love that he's already been up, ate, and is going back to sleep before others have even gotten up once!) and giving Ian some breakfast and a movie to watch in his "cave," we told Nicole to call us if they needed us, but that they should be fine while we went out for a run.
We walked for a few blocks, then jogged for about 10 minutes, then walked most of the rest of the way home. It was just nice for Chris and I to be out alone together, without any kids. Though I did realize one perk of having the jogger is to hold water. It felt pretty good outside and there are some beautiful bushes in bloom with pink, white, and orange/red flowers--very pretty!
I am proud of Chris for coming with me. I know he wants to get back in shape. It can kind of feel slow at first, but I'd really like us to start some better habits right now. It's not like life will ever slow down and that there will be a better time than now to start. He has a hard time running with his asthma and allergies, but I'm hoping with time and practice, we can increase his abilities.
P.S. I didn't get out running yesterday. It may have been an excuse, but they were turning our water off from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and I really wanted to make sure I got a shower, especially since we needed to be to the library by 10:30. I hate feeling like I am making excuses, but I did get 4 runs in this week, so I can't feel too guilty!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
not a car
2 miles
20 minutes
10:50-11:10 a.m.
Complex "track"
Mid-70's (felt a lot hotter than that!)
Today I got up and was a little bit sore from the treadmill and toning last night, but it felt good. Chris and I both slept well, and it actually took me a little bit to come out of sleep when the boys woke up this morning. I had planned to go grocery shopping this morning, but it ended up that we went for a later run after Cooper's nap and 2nd feeding. It said it was still in the 70's on weatherchannel.com so I figured we'd be okay, even though it was later. It felt hotter than that, but we weren't too hot.
I decided to just go around the complex today, since we were later. Ian was anxious to be done from the start. And Cooper's been really fussy and was screaming before we started, settled down, then got a little upset with a couple laps left. I felt like I was movie pretty slow, but was able to pick up the pace for a little bit. I told Ian to tell me to go faster and then that would mean we could go play at Scoop Park sooner. He is always telling me to slow down, so I was trying to explain that he should cheer me on to go faster, like Queen so we can get done and go play. Considering how the jogging stroller is red, and attempting to get Ian into the whole "racing,"going faster thing, I excitedly told him, "Ian! We're Queen! We're red!" He matter-of-factly said, "Mom. We're not a car." So much for imagination on that one...
I did some thinking again while running today. It's funny because I mostly think what I am going to write on the blog about the run :) so if nothing else, the blog is a good way to have my mind think about important things that I want to record. We went to Scoop Park and talked and played for a little bit, then headed back to the house for lunch. Luckily I was able to "bribe" into to go home because I told him he could watch a library movie while I showered. Oftentimes he'll tell me to go get in the shower, hoping that means I'll let him watch a movie. It's amazing how quickly that kid has caught onto things.
I also wanted to mention how much I love my jogger. Especially the sunshades. My last Baby Jogger (single) didn't have the sunshades that rotate as much as these, and that is primarily why I wanted the performance brand this time. I was afraid I wouldn't use my jogger enough to justify spending the extra money on this one, but already I feel relieved that I didn't waste the money. I am glad I have it and am thoroughly enjoying the strollers, especially the ability to keep both boys out of the sun and adjust the shades depending on the direction we're running, which just wasn't an option with the Q-series; I was always having to put blankets across the front to keep Ian covered and the sun out of his eyes.
20 minutes
10:50-11:10 a.m.
Complex "track"
Mid-70's (felt a lot hotter than that!)
Today I got up and was a little bit sore from the treadmill and toning last night, but it felt good. Chris and I both slept well, and it actually took me a little bit to come out of sleep when the boys woke up this morning. I had planned to go grocery shopping this morning, but it ended up that we went for a later run after Cooper's nap and 2nd feeding. It said it was still in the 70's on weatherchannel.com so I figured we'd be okay, even though it was later. It felt hotter than that, but we weren't too hot.
I decided to just go around the complex today, since we were later. Ian was anxious to be done from the start. And Cooper's been really fussy and was screaming before we started, settled down, then got a little upset with a couple laps left. I felt like I was movie pretty slow, but was able to pick up the pace for a little bit. I told Ian to tell me to go faster and then that would mean we could go play at Scoop Park sooner. He is always telling me to slow down, so I was trying to explain that he should cheer me on to go faster, like Queen so we can get done and go play. Considering how the jogging stroller is red, and attempting to get Ian into the whole "racing,"going faster thing, I excitedly told him, "Ian! We're Queen! We're red!" He matter-of-factly said, "Mom. We're not a car." So much for imagination on that one...
I did some thinking again while running today. It's funny because I mostly think what I am going to write on the blog about the run :) so if nothing else, the blog is a good way to have my mind think about important things that I want to record. We went to Scoop Park and talked and played for a little bit, then headed back to the house for lunch. Luckily I was able to "bribe" into to go home because I told him he could watch a library movie while I showered. Oftentimes he'll tell me to go get in the shower, hoping that means I'll let him watch a movie. It's amazing how quickly that kid has caught onto things.
I also wanted to mention how much I love my jogger. Especially the sunshades. My last Baby Jogger (single) didn't have the sunshades that rotate as much as these, and that is primarily why I wanted the performance brand this time. I was afraid I wouldn't use my jogger enough to justify spending the extra money on this one, but already I feel relieved that I didn't waste the money. I am glad I have it and am thoroughly enjoying the strollers, especially the ability to keep both boys out of the sun and adjust the shades depending on the direction we're running, which just wasn't an option with the Q-series; I was always having to put blankets across the front to keep Ian covered and the sun out of his eyes.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
treadmill
3 miles
33 minutes on treadmill, short jog/stretch beforehand, walked back to the condo
8-9 p.m.
Condo gym
Kinda stuffy in gym, but not hot; felt good outside on walk home
I think today I was more raunchy than I can remember in a long time (Chris might remember otherwise). I know I get temperamental during pregnancy, but man, I was so ornery today, I couldn't even stand myself! I had a hard time taking care of the boys and being patient. And I seem to have taken up a new hobby, which I detest already--yelling--I've only yelled at Ian a few times in the last few days, but it's something that's gotta stop fast!
Wednesdays are kind of a crazy day because we have ward playgroup at 10:00 a.m. By the time I feed Cooper twice and have him nap once, it's hard to fit in a run before it's time to leave for playgroup. But I think I could have used the run earlier in the day--maybe it would have helped my foul mood. :( Chris was totally fine to let me go to the gym in our condo complex in the evening after the boys were ready for bed. It was my first time in the gym (we finally figured out how to get in; no thanks to the security guard). It's nothing much, but the treadmill seems to work fine which is all I need. Maybe I'll even think about doing some cross-training with some of the other machines. I think I've always been a little intimidated by then, like I wouldn't know what to do on them, but they can't be that hard!
It's been awhile since I was on a treadmill, so it was a little interesting of a run. I watched The Price is Right while I ran. Next time I need to turn the sound up higher, but it was a nice distraction. My pace was pretty slow overall, but I did speed it up during the middle and towards the end. I feel dumb that my mile pace is so slow, but I gotta not be so hard on myself--I'm out running and that's what matters. I can focus more on speed and pace later. Right now I'm just beginning again, building a foundation and just getting the runs in. It's hard not to look down on myself sometimes. But I just gotta celebrate doing the runs!
Chris has been doing push-ups some nights, which has made me think about my need to do sit-ups and toning in general (I need to work on push-ups too, but upper body strength has never been my forte, so we'll leave that on the list of "to-do's" for now). So tonight after my treadmill run I came back to the house and read the New Testament while I did some crunches, leg lifts, etc. The burn felt nice. Maybe I can get this bum and thighs into a little bit better shape. It was funny--the other day I noticed that my sister Andrea's stomach was flat and I suddenly remembered that mine once was like that! I really am quite happy with my body overall, especially considering having two kids, but it was just funny to see that and suddenly flash back to when mine looked like that!!
33 minutes on treadmill, short jog/stretch beforehand, walked back to the condo
8-9 p.m.
Condo gym
Kinda stuffy in gym, but not hot; felt good outside on walk home
I think today I was more raunchy than I can remember in a long time (Chris might remember otherwise). I know I get temperamental during pregnancy, but man, I was so ornery today, I couldn't even stand myself! I had a hard time taking care of the boys and being patient. And I seem to have taken up a new hobby, which I detest already--yelling--I've only yelled at Ian a few times in the last few days, but it's something that's gotta stop fast!
Wednesdays are kind of a crazy day because we have ward playgroup at 10:00 a.m. By the time I feed Cooper twice and have him nap once, it's hard to fit in a run before it's time to leave for playgroup. But I think I could have used the run earlier in the day--maybe it would have helped my foul mood. :( Chris was totally fine to let me go to the gym in our condo complex in the evening after the boys were ready for bed. It was my first time in the gym (we finally figured out how to get in; no thanks to the security guard). It's nothing much, but the treadmill seems to work fine which is all I need. Maybe I'll even think about doing some cross-training with some of the other machines. I think I've always been a little intimidated by then, like I wouldn't know what to do on them, but they can't be that hard!
It's been awhile since I was on a treadmill, so it was a little interesting of a run. I watched The Price is Right while I ran. Next time I need to turn the sound up higher, but it was a nice distraction. My pace was pretty slow overall, but I did speed it up during the middle and towards the end. I feel dumb that my mile pace is so slow, but I gotta not be so hard on myself--I'm out running and that's what matters. I can focus more on speed and pace later. Right now I'm just beginning again, building a foundation and just getting the runs in. It's hard not to look down on myself sometimes. But I just gotta celebrate doing the runs!
Chris has been doing push-ups some nights, which has made me think about my need to do sit-ups and toning in general (I need to work on push-ups too, but upper body strength has never been my forte, so we'll leave that on the list of "to-do's" for now). So tonight after my treadmill run I came back to the house and read the New Testament while I did some crunches, leg lifts, etc. The burn felt nice. Maybe I can get this bum and thighs into a little bit better shape. It was funny--the other day I noticed that my sister Andrea's stomach was flat and I suddenly remembered that mine once was like that! I really am quite happy with my body overall, especially considering having two kids, but it was just funny to see that and suddenly flash back to when mine looked like that!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
thinking time
3 miles (1 mile each way, plus about a mile around park jogging trail)
8:50-9:40 a.m. (12 min. out, 13 min. around jogging trail, 10 min. home)
High 80's (best guess; didn't check, but it sure felt hot by the time I got home!)
Bird Park (Ian chased the birds and played on the playground and in the sand for a few minutes before Cooper was getting tired; luckily Coop fell asleep on the run home.)
I am beginning to realize that running is a metaphor for life. The same difficulties with attitude I am having getting myself out to run are the same ones I have about cleaning my house, or playing with my boys, or investing in relationships. I really am afraid that I sound like the biggest pessimist, but honestly, I kind of am. I know I am, but out running today it really hit me that I need to make some changes. I knew that. But it really hit me hard today. I got out pretty easily today and while running was thinking about how often I drag my feet about doing things, whether it's running or cleaning or taking time for the people I really care about. As I was running I thought how good it felt and realized that's how other areas of my life are too--that when I will take time for them, even if begrudgingly at first, I do enjoy it and it really benefits me and others.
I added another sidebar list for races I've run. I'm really embarrassed almost, that I can only put two on there. I swear there have to be more! But I only have two t-shirts so that sadly is probably true so far. I have had a funny attitude about running and exercise. Not to blame this on my parents or not take responsibility for my personal choices, but exercise was never something my family emphasized. I started running track in junior high (my friend tried to get me to join in 7th grade; I ran the first day and never went back, at least not that year). I ran from 8th-11th grade. I remember talking to two senior girls who I ran with throughout my senior year. I asked if she was running at Ricks when she went there in the fall, but she said no, she'd just keep up running on her own. I distinctly remember being perplexed by this; why would she keep running if she wasn't running on a team? How dumb I was and how long it's taken me to get over that silly mind myth (if you'd like to know more about these, let me know).
I thought I was too busy my senior year to run, which was unfortunate. My coach really tried to get me to run, but I didn't. Thinking back to my senior year (which has been even more so the last few days, since my little sister Andrea just graduated from PGHS last week, 8 years after me!) I was a mess. I felt so bogged down with all the things I was involved in and remember when I was about ready to dropped by AP English and AP Calculus classes because I could not handle everything I was involved in (then I aced a Calculus test and decided maybe I wasn't doing as poorly as I felt like I was...LOL), that there is no way I could have fit in track, too. But you know--I should have, because I think some physical exercise would have helped a lot during that time when I was so stressed and feeling so down and depressed. My coach also tried to get me to do cross country in high school, but I never would. It is sad to me that I had such a funky attitude about running, and even exercise in general. After graduation I would go to the track and run some mornings, and then my freshman year I would run once in awhile with friends from the dorms, but overall, I really had a bad attitude about running. Even when I had friends who wanted to go and tried to get me out there, I still fought it. After Chris and I got married I fought him when he wanted to go for walks. I ask him why we didn't exercise more together and he says because I always got mad at him when he asked; and he's right. I was "so" busy with school that I let things that could have helped and made life happier not be a part of my life. Then I got pregnant and was busy with Ian, then I got pregnant....I had really wanted to run during my second pregnancy and was geared up for it (ran two races in March, not knowing I was pregnant) but then just couldn't keep it up during the pregnancy 'cause I didn't really have that good of base prior to getting pregnant. Then in is weather excuses, postpartum, too busy--whatever--I can usually come up with what I think are some pretty good ones. I was worried about running here in Vegas with the heat (we'll still how that goes when it does actually get hot down here), with the boys in the stroller, etc. I do wish I could run on my own or find a running buddy, or figure out a way to get out more with Chris. Those are just some things I am working on right now, that I think would help things. So I am really hoping to start some lasting habits now that will continue on, no matter what stage of life I am in or where we're living.
I realized on my run this morning what they mean about running being more mental than physical. I think I have a lot to learn about this, but I think if I am able to do that in running, it will be a huge blessing to every facet of my life, especially as a mother and wife.
I didn't get a run in yesterday. My family was in town and left that morning and I honestly just didn't even try to. Chris and I talked about going for a run for FHE that night, but he took Ian swimming before dinner, then we did a short FHE and bedtime. I'll really like it when I "freak out" and can't stand the idea of not getting a daily run in! Not that I want to base my life or day around it, but when it becomes vital to me feeling sane and enjoying my day, I look forward to that.
8:50-9:40 a.m. (12 min. out, 13 min. around jogging trail, 10 min. home)
High 80's (best guess; didn't check, but it sure felt hot by the time I got home!)
Bird Park (Ian chased the birds and played on the playground and in the sand for a few minutes before Cooper was getting tired; luckily Coop fell asleep on the run home.)
I am beginning to realize that running is a metaphor for life. The same difficulties with attitude I am having getting myself out to run are the same ones I have about cleaning my house, or playing with my boys, or investing in relationships. I really am afraid that I sound like the biggest pessimist, but honestly, I kind of am. I know I am, but out running today it really hit me that I need to make some changes. I knew that. But it really hit me hard today. I got out pretty easily today and while running was thinking about how often I drag my feet about doing things, whether it's running or cleaning or taking time for the people I really care about. As I was running I thought how good it felt and realized that's how other areas of my life are too--that when I will take time for them, even if begrudgingly at first, I do enjoy it and it really benefits me and others.
I added another sidebar list for races I've run. I'm really embarrassed almost, that I can only put two on there. I swear there have to be more! But I only have two t-shirts so that sadly is probably true so far. I have had a funny attitude about running and exercise. Not to blame this on my parents or not take responsibility for my personal choices, but exercise was never something my family emphasized. I started running track in junior high (my friend tried to get me to join in 7th grade; I ran the first day and never went back, at least not that year). I ran from 8th-11th grade. I remember talking to two senior girls who I ran with throughout my senior year. I asked if she was running at Ricks when she went there in the fall, but she said no, she'd just keep up running on her own. I distinctly remember being perplexed by this; why would she keep running if she wasn't running on a team? How dumb I was and how long it's taken me to get over that silly mind myth (if you'd like to know more about these, let me know).
I thought I was too busy my senior year to run, which was unfortunate. My coach really tried to get me to run, but I didn't. Thinking back to my senior year (which has been even more so the last few days, since my little sister Andrea just graduated from PGHS last week, 8 years after me!) I was a mess. I felt so bogged down with all the things I was involved in and remember when I was about ready to dropped by AP English and AP Calculus classes because I could not handle everything I was involved in (then I aced a Calculus test and decided maybe I wasn't doing as poorly as I felt like I was...LOL), that there is no way I could have fit in track, too. But you know--I should have, because I think some physical exercise would have helped a lot during that time when I was so stressed and feeling so down and depressed. My coach also tried to get me to do cross country in high school, but I never would. It is sad to me that I had such a funky attitude about running, and even exercise in general. After graduation I would go to the track and run some mornings, and then my freshman year I would run once in awhile with friends from the dorms, but overall, I really had a bad attitude about running. Even when I had friends who wanted to go and tried to get me out there, I still fought it. After Chris and I got married I fought him when he wanted to go for walks. I ask him why we didn't exercise more together and he says because I always got mad at him when he asked; and he's right. I was "so" busy with school that I let things that could have helped and made life happier not be a part of my life. Then I got pregnant and was busy with Ian, then I got pregnant....I had really wanted to run during my second pregnancy and was geared up for it (ran two races in March, not knowing I was pregnant) but then just couldn't keep it up during the pregnancy 'cause I didn't really have that good of base prior to getting pregnant. Then in is weather excuses, postpartum, too busy--whatever--I can usually come up with what I think are some pretty good ones. I was worried about running here in Vegas with the heat (we'll still how that goes when it does actually get hot down here), with the boys in the stroller, etc. I do wish I could run on my own or find a running buddy, or figure out a way to get out more with Chris. Those are just some things I am working on right now, that I think would help things. So I am really hoping to start some lasting habits now that will continue on, no matter what stage of life I am in or where we're living.
I realized on my run this morning what they mean about running being more mental than physical. I think I have a lot to learn about this, but I think if I am able to do that in running, it will be a huge blessing to every facet of my life, especially as a mother and wife.
I didn't get a run in yesterday. My family was in town and left that morning and I honestly just didn't even try to. Chris and I talked about going for a run for FHE that night, but he took Ian swimming before dinner, then we did a short FHE and bedtime. I'll really like it when I "freak out" and can't stand the idea of not getting a daily run in! Not that I want to base my life or day around it, but when it becomes vital to me feeling sane and enjoying my day, I look forward to that.
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